(no subject)
jaeswan
I feel like there are 2 weeks between me and the rest of my life. Except, I'm sure sometime in the dead of a cold, dark Philly winter, that I'm gonna wish I had these 2, sunny, relatively care-free weeks back,

If only I could bottle them up and save for later.

*shrugs*

At work
jaeswan
I guess I've never really had an opportunity to do an "at work" post because I stopped using LJ before I was a legit working human being. Technically, I'm still not one of those because I decided to do the whole grad school thing. Still.. I'm working at a summer school program teaching music theory and composition. I'm also the coordinator of all the students' main event shows at night. It's been a pretty stressful summer. I do get some fun out of finding cool/cute things to furnish my new West Philadelphia apt with, though. I feel like Philly isn't necessarily the best starter city. Why are all the "good" (and I use that word really, very loosely) universities always in or VERY close to the hood? Yale? Hood. Brown? Hood. Columbia? Hood (sorta.. some parts are type suspect) UPenn? definitely HOOD. Mmm.. whatever. As a black girl I have hopes of not sticking out when I walk through my neighborhood as a loser grad student. The large bag of books and laptop case maye gave it away though.

At least I have about 3 weeks after I move to figure it all out.

...now I just need  sugar daddy (or mama :-P) to help put food on the dining table my mom has donated to me lol.

in due time.

Life is good.

(no subject)
jaeswan
haha, it's been three years since my last post. Interestingly, I check LJ at least 3 times a week-- only for BLACKFOLK, though. I've tried other blogging site.. LJ will always have a special, pubescent place in my heart. I'm smiling at the notion of even entertaining the thought of trying to give an update since my last post 3 damn years ago. I like lists so here goes:

-Graduated from College
-Broke up with boyfriend of 3.5 years
-Got awesome fellowships for doctoral program at UPenn
-Learned to love myself
-Got cool tattoo

That's all for now. I have to go teach Music Theory and Composition to a bunch of high school students.

(no subject)
jaeswan
Poland and the Czech Republic in 3 weeks. That should be interesting.

Recently I've been debating with myself about whether or not it's okay to call my locs "dread locs." Apparently some people have huge qualms with it-- for the obvious connotations behind the word "dread." I just think my hair is the shit-- nothing more, really. I really should be writing a paper now-- but i'm not. It's soo beautiful outside I feel like I should go tanning-- except, i'm black and skin cancer is *totally uncool*. Maybe if I finish another 2 pages or so I'll allow myself to play outside for a bit.

Today Bryan's wearing a shirt that his a picture of a woman and a little boy and under it it says

"Now remember, Billy. Only retards wear their collars up!"

it makes me laugh. I'm contemplating whether or not I should buy this shirt I saw online that says

"WHITE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!" I'd personally get a kick out of it. HA

I'm not really sure what.
jaeswan
I'm staring at our newly framed picture lopsidedly perched against the side of my desk. Three times, already, I picked up my still-warm mug and realized that I finished my chai tea. I'm too lazy to go make more. Ella is singing in the background. It's become increasingly harder for me to think. Recently I've been doing a lot of feeling--sadly, I can't do both at the same time.

Due to unmentionable circumstances, Bryan and I can't really spend any time together, whatsoever. Naturally, that would make me sad-- however, had I known how much being away from him would affect me I can't even say I would have gotten myself into this in the first place. I wholeheartedly embrace the diva-overlydramatic-soprano role that I often play, but I've never felt emotions so real before. It's half invigorating and half terrifying. Being without him is a numbing emptiness that turns my stomach. My hands literally tingle with anxiety and I have to remind myself to breathe every few seconds. I hate it.

Dilemma #2: Now, I understood that when I came to Bucknell I would be one of very few brownies in a sea of milk, however, when I get asked to be "loud colored person #4" on the opera company, and when the choir directer automatically gives me the gospel solo in my all white choir I can't help but be really offended. I felt like somehow I transcended all sorts of racial boundaries.. maybe I'm naive-- maybe i'm unrealistic but I suppose that's beside the point. I'm a classical singer, damnit. believe it. it's real. I like indie music AND i can shake my ass. No, i can't rap, yes i've been to europe. and now that i've officially riled myself up unnecessarily.. i shall retire.

(no subject)
jaeswan
why does my roommate hate me? why? really, like seriously, why?

it's been a while
jaeswan
I just realized that I can post in my LJ from my desktop..God bless macs. My life is unusually drama free at this point and i can't truthfull say that I dont miss it. I've been talking to this dude from Bucknell recently and i reaaally like him.. of course, he has a girlfriend and i REFUSE to be the other girl. Then again, I dont know her so it's not bothering me as much as it could. I dunno. I'm really not trynna get with him I'm just looking for friends, really. Blehh, i dunno-- I still haven't gotten over the weird idea that college is for adults.. clearly it isn't because I'm going and I still feel like a baby. I wonder if my life will ever sort itself out? Who knows.


peace.

just a few
jaeswan

 My date

 

 The ladies


(no subject)
jaeswan
BUUUUCKKKNELLL '09!

omg guys, the college process is over.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:-D

(no subject)
jaeswan
rejected from American accepted to Boston College.. strange, no?

?

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